Do over
by LuckyLioness
Summary: An insomniac Jordan is troubled by her lost relationship with Woody, in her mind she revisits the moments in their relationship where could have changed their future.
1. Chapter 1

She stared out her apartment window. It was past midnight and a light drizzle of rain misted the air through which the night city lights were visible. But all she saw was bleakness, a world that she felt distant from. She felt like a lost child, again. Sitting in her pajamas with kittens on them, hugging her knees drawn to her chest as if to give herself comfort that she wasn't alone.

She picked up her glass from the windowsill and swirled the golden liquid around. The whisky circled and then settled to stillness. She watched it intently as if focusing hard enough would stop her mind drifting to the inevitable but no matter how she tried to avoid thinking about him it just kept coming back. Sleep wouldn't come easily again tonight.

She'd always been independent and never had strong attachments to anyone in her life. This was different. Jordan's new life was desolate ever since Woody's accident and his strong rejection of her. She realized now what a large part Woody had played in her life. He was always there for her, her best friend, the one person she could trust completely. In the last year their friendship had grown strong and their easy companionship had shifted to something deeper but it was something she'd never acknowledged, not even to herself. She'd taken him for granted and never stopped to appreciate just how special their relationship was.

Jordan knew she carried some of the blame for where they were now; she'd pushed him away too many times. She'd rejected him and hurt him so badly without even meaning to. But his reaction to her since he was injured was disproportionate to what she believed she'd done wrong. Yes, she was guilty of keeping him at arms length and of denying her feelings. Yes, she was also guilty of picking an inopportune time to tell him of her feelings. He had other concerns on his mind, but it just didn't make sense that he should hate her for it.

Her mind played its usual game with her, the one that came every night at bedtime. She would think back to every opportunity, every time she had said no when she could have said yes. Surely if she'd told him of her feelings earlier than that day then he wouldn't have cause to be angry with her and everything would be different now.

Like a broken record she inflicted this upon herself on a regular basis. It gave her the temporary enjoyment of imagining what it could have been like, followed with the grief of realizing that the chance is now lost forever. Like an addict her mind pursued that temporary high.

Tonight she settled on the day that she considered as the biggest chance that she ruined. It was the one where Woody was very clear in laying his heart on the line, it was one where she felt she had the most to blame to shoulder because at that time she truly did know her feelings for him. She should have fought harder, not just step aside and let him walk away hurt. She tossed up in her mind whether she wanted to play out the fantasy in the morning or the end of the day – two opportunities missed ... ...

Woody burst into her office noisily in a frenzy of colorful balloons. She groaned and half-heartedly protested about their agreement about no birthday fuss. "Woody, I told you what I wanted most for my birthday was not to be reminded it was my birthday"

"Then I guess I shouldn't give you this" Woody says handing her the small ring box.

"I see you're good at keeping promises"

"Just go with it, Jordan. It's called happy birthday, okay? Happy birthday. Don't worry; it's not what you think it is. Well, maybe it is but... I don't know… I just wanted to get you something special. Show you how much you mean to me."

"A diamond ring?"

"It's a friendship ring. Okay, calm down. It goes on your right hand, not your left. The lady at the jewellery store said that they're all the rage."

"Oh Woody, it's beautiful. I really don't know what to say."

"Well you could start by letting me put it on" he said as her took her right hand and slipped the ring on her finger. He then drew her hand up to his lips and kissed it lightly whispering, "Jordan, you are so precious to me".

Jordan fought back the tears she felt welling in her eyes and reached up with her free hand to gently caress the side of his face.

He tugged her forward and held her tightly against him. She let herself melt against his strong chest.

They stayed like this for the longest time, enjoying the intimacy of the hug, neither willing to separate. They both noticed the shift as they stayed close together, with Woody absently tangling his fingers her hair and Jordan nuzzling gently against his neck. Still holding her he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Jordan" he said questioningly. In answer she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, kissing him gently. There was no mistaking her intentions and Woody wasn't going to let the opportunity slip by, letting the balloons go they rose up to the ceiling as he backed her to her desk. Pressing against her he deepened their kiss, knowing there would be no going back for either of them once they let themselves go this far ... ...

Jordan choked with emotion at imagining how it would have felt to kiss him so passionately without holding back in that moment. Shaken abruptly out of her fantasy the tears slid freely down her cheeks, "Damn you Woody, why are you doing this to me".


	2. Chapter 2

... … Woody lay in his hospital bed, his mind still foggy as it came down from anesthesia. He couldn't feel any pain right now but he also couldn't feel anything below his waist but he didn't know if this was because they've numbed the pain or if it was the paralysis they threatened he may be left with.

Hesitantly, she stepped into his room. "Hey". Typical Jordan always deflecting by taking the sarcastic approach leads in with "so if you had to lose an organ, spleen's a good choice. Pretty useless anyhow."

"Yeah, I guess" Woody grumbled.

"Dr. Turner said they're gonna wait until the morning to take you back into surgery."

"Good. Give me a few more hours to lie here and think about how much my life is gonna suck when I can't walk anymore."

"You don't know that, Woody. There's a good chance there's no nerve damage."

"50/50. You making that bet?"

"They're flying in a neurologist from New York. He's supposed to be the best. Right now you just need to relax, you need to rest."

She took his hand in hers.

"Jordan, what you whispered to me when they were bringing me in…"

"You heard that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I heard that. You said it 'cause you felt sorry for me?"

"What? No."

"You think I'm crippled, so..."

"Woody, no, I meant every word." She stepped in closer, sitting down at his beside and stroked his arm re-assuringly. "Look, I know the timing sucked for me to wait until then to say that to you. But give me a break, you scared the hell out of me".

She leaned in and kissed his ear and whispered. "Please Woody, don't push me away. Let me be here for you" She continued kissing his neck softly as she whispered. "I do love you. We have another chance, I don't care what happens, I am not going to let anything stand in our way."

"mmm, god … Jordan, you aren't playing fair"

"Woody. Please" she pulled back to look into his eyes as she gently stroked his face. "Please".

There was no denying what he could see in her eyes. It was what he'd always longed to see. He was annoyed that the moment he'd been waiting for all his life had to happen as he was flat out immobile with an uncertain future. But knowing Jordan, he couldn't risk not taking advantage of the opportunity, he finally had a shot to make her realise just how good it would feel for them to be together.

"Come here" he said as pulled her down to kiss her lips gently. When she responded with little moans of pleasure he could feel the fire inside him building. He deepened the kiss and become more insistent and demanding as he felt the exquisite pleasure of their tongues caressing for the first time.

She pulled away breathless. "Hey we better be careful with you in that condition" she said with a sheepish smile. Jordan sat back down at his bedside, held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder.

Content in knowing he'd kissed her well enough that she wouldn't be able to help but want more, he let himself close his eyes and drift into sleep feeling the warmth of her beside him. … ...

Woody opened his eyes. Untangling himself from the mess of sheets he sat up in bed. The sun was peeking through the shades and sending glary beams of light into his eyes. He sat there for a minute with his head in his hands revisiting his dream. "Jordan, why can't you stay out of my head!"


End file.
